I feel so crappy/sad now. Sometimes I wish this world would stop for noone but me. Sometimes I just wish I could be selfish and do the things I want to do and not what others want. Sometimes I wish I could run so far away and never have to turn back. And ever so frequently I wish I could just lock myself away, wrap myself in a comforter and start anew. Butterflies have it great don't they. All I want is for all of us to be genuinely happy, with mutual understanding, love and care. Is that really too hard to ask for? I can't say I miss it, because I haven't had that kinda warm fuzzy feeling from all of you in a really long time and I've forgotten how it feels like.

I was up till quite late last night and this one line popped up.
I've got to dare to be what I want to be, dare to be who I am. 
But what if I don't know what I really want? What if through the times I've bent to please others I've ended up losing myself? If that's the case, then where do I start?

Dear Lord,
Please grant me strength. Fill this heart of mine. I need you.
Love,
Van.