Hello dearest blog readers! I have been really busy and I'm like trying to sleep earlier so I have not been using the com! Hahaha. Anyway, this has been a crazy week. I do enjoy school. I really do! Haha. Its really fulfilling being back together with A12 <3<3<3 We're so crazy, I just love them to bits. Hahaha. Never fail to bring so much joy into my life.

Anyway, I got my 2010 planner! ITS LIKE HOT PINK. I LOVE IT OMG. SERIOUSLY. I LOVE MY NEW PLANNER VERY VERY MUCH. <3

Met JE today to talk. Catch up? Accountability? Something like that. I'm glad we met up. I needed to clear shit. And I needed someone totally unbiased to tell me what to do. I'm glad we had THAT talk too. Got me thinking about stuff and I pray everything works out. The whole reflection on 2009 was really good, it made me realised how much I have been falling short and how much more I was capable of achieving. I guess its true all that I planned out didn't fall into place because I lost sight of them along the way and that I may have like viewed it as something really terrible. But then again, the good thing is that I have managed to realise it, and it might not be all that late to start doing what I have to do and not just what I want to do (:

OKAY SO LIKE I WAS BEING ALL BRATTY THIS MORNING. So many things were just bothering me and I was so stressed (thats a different story, which I would like elaborate later) and then like more shit keeps happening. THE WORSE THING IS I CAN'T TELL EVERYONE COS LIKE I JUST CANT. So its like choking me and I felt like I was just going to crumble under the weight of everything. And I totally didn't want you to get worried (which you still eventually did) But anyway, I'm so incoherent just thinking about it. OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT. FORGET IT. I WILL PRETEND I REALLY HAVE A SINGLE BRAIN CELL AND NOT KNOW ANYTHING. Friends, if you don't get this paragraph, its okay. ITS JUST RANDOM SENTENCES FLYING THROUGH MY HEAD AND I'M LIKE HAVING DIFFICULTY PIECING THEM TOGETHER PROPERLY.

So here's the stressful thing:
I just feel so frustrated you don't believe I can do it. Do you know how it feels when I'm here trying to tell you that I'm totally and perfectly capable of doing it but I just need the time (ITS HOW I WORK) and you refuse to give me the time. Using the reason that I don't have a natural flair for math. OKAY TYVM. I KNOW THAT. I'm not denying it. But I know myself well enough. If I think its too much, I will gladly listen and do what I need to! I don't need you harping on my back pressurizing me. It makes me feel so BIYHBVIEHBVEIBVREVOBREVOROLV ROFBV ORL. I JUST CANT BREATHE AND IT AFFECTS ME SO MUCH.

OKAY. I'm done ranting.
THIS WEEK ENDED WELL <3 I'm happy!

OH. 1 thing I realised throughout this whole talk was the inability to fully surrender. Its kinda like I would rather be in control and know what's happening then to fully trust and just let God lead. So I pray that I will be able to just surrender and not fear what I do not know (:


Helloo yellow bellow yvonneee <3<3<3

Thanks for the taking the liberty to blog! Hahahaha. Keep this dead thing alive when I'm like trying to become a mugger. Hahahaha.

Love you rawry!