This has got to stop now. Seriously. I need it to. Disheartened and disappointed with no one else but myself. I asked for it? I guess :/ Oh wait. Its like I'm just trying to give myself this flicker of hope. Or maybe just find an excuse to not let go. Its bad. Hurt, maybe. But then again, I think that's pretty inevitable. But then again this hurt's pretty heart wrenching. I want to let you go but I'm just too selfish. I know it.

Dear Van, 


You're one of the few people whom I know that has this much love for others. I have faith in you that you'll know what to do. It is true that I'm hurting badly, but its okay. We all learn. Pray for directions. Remember though you are hurt, you can still afford to love others. I love you too.


Van's heart. 


P.S. I can't wait for saturday! Please let it happen. I'll be really glad if it does (: Need to take my mind off all these.