Dear Lord,

After all that has happened today, I guess I have got the thoughts in my head cleared. Thank you Lord. I guess the moment of epiphany came to me after I bathed. The wonders of the toilet. Haha. Anyway, I guess my prayers have been answered and everything kind of boiled down to one thing, not good enough for me. I guess my best friends were right. Whatever it is, I'm not going to be the one guessing, wondering, believing, expecting, giving, receiving and letting everything run on its own. I like being in control of my thoughts and having that sense of security from you. Its true that at times you do give me that, but it doesn't happen all the time. I have been thinking about what they said and I can say that I have been fighting with myself on whether I should be the one to cave in first. But I guess not. I'm not doing that. For you to think I'm ___, it just means you don't know me well enough. I believe you know that, but you just don't dare to take up the challenge. Okay, retracting everything more than necessary. We are just friends. I won't say I'm giving up, just that I think its really over this time. Thank you Lord for allowing me to be able to make this decision without having the heart wrenching feeling I've been having for a long while. Perhaps I'm going to have a better closure to 2009 than expected. FSA! (: