OH YES(:

Alright! (: So I know when I'm going off to and when! Haha. What a great improvement from previous years when its just a 'oh. btw we're going on hol tomorrow' and they wizz us off to Spain or some faraway land! The only thing is, we are going to Brisbane again! Haha. Like for the umpteenth time! But Yay! There's sun so maybe getting tanned will materialise and I can have a perfect reason to buy sun dresses <3<3<3

This morning was pretty crazy. Something like a sad morning! But I guess I won't think about it till it happens! Maybe you shouldn't think too much about it too (: And I'm pretty surprise you want to come up with a list of things to do! You make it sound as if we're never going to be able to talk or meet up when THAT happens. But yay you! Let's just carry it out (:

Nevertheless its true, appreciate the people you have around you! <3

These few days I have been troubled by one thing, You. 

You know how it has been in church where they talk about authenticity in community. I find it so hard to be authentic with you anymore. I mean I know you were there for me when I needed you the most and that I am grateful for. What I dont get is why you are behaving like that now. Doing things behind my back, tyring to steal my friends. I mean whats the point. The whole problem lies in the 'so what can i do with you'. Well, I tried to be really mean to you, as if that worked! Made me feel so damn guilty about myself I decided to boycott the whole ignore you plan. But you did it again. And it makes me feel so stupid. So what exactly is this whole thing about authenticity. Authenticity at the expanse of getting hurt? Is it all worth it? I dont know. I know its true about the whole selective authenticity thing, but selective authenticity is that not by itself contradictory? I dont know how to tell you this but maybe you should just reflect on your actions and intentions to see why everything is happening to you the way it is. I know by not listening to close friends who matter about this whole thing might get me into trouble but somehow most of the things they say would be what they as individuals would do, but things I wont do. Sometimes I wish I had less of a conscience and that getting back at people would be the more important thing. But then again I think I prefer myself being kinder and nicer to people. I just don't like being taken advantage, exploited and being thought upon as if I can't tell what's happening and maybe you should realise it too. 


Dear Lord,
give me the strength to be the person you want me to be. Give me the wisdom to know how to treat this 'i guess i still have to call friend' girl. I know my initial reactions towards her are always unbecoming as a christian because its usually directed towards the direction of anger. But i really don't want that to be the case. I'm just so confused with all the contradictory opinions I'm given. And Lord you know, I really thought her as someone I could be really close to because we are from the same _____. But after these, I doubt its the case anymore. You know whats worse Lord, everybody else can see it, but they have only started telling me now and to top things off, a very good friend of mine is like kinda in her clutches. This is terrible Lord, please help me! I really do not know what else to do, say or think. I hate having to always go through this. Thank you Lord, Amen!